A FAT SLIM GIRL.

                    (Image from Yoga matters)

A FAT SLIM GIRL.
She saw fat everywhere. It was in her face, in her neck, in her arms, in her stomach, in her thighs, in her legs. It was within and without her. Nobody saw her as fat. It was her mind, the mind she allowed social media to influence, that told her she was fat. It was the way she looked at herself in the mirror that got her upset about her weight. It was her low self-esteem and lack of confidence in herself that informed her change of behaviour. It was her lack of self love that led to her ruin. She was a healthy weight of a hundred and twenty pounds at age seventeen. She was healthy. She was okay. But she didn't see it like that. Her mind had been distorted by what she saw.
It was not always like that. There once was a time when she was in love with her body. When she considering herself lucky to be 'full' in areas that mattered. When she had no fears or insecurities about her weight and the way she looked. When she was beautiful through and through. Those were the good times. But good times hardly lasted long.
She joined a popular social media platform and began to see beauties all around. 'Perfect people'. People whose lives were perfect in every way. She saw slay queens and very fit people. On a daily basis, she was hit with waves of wanting to be like them. Waves of discontentment with her body. Waves of wanting to belong. At first it was admiration. But it soon translated to  obsession. And then extreme obsession. She compared her body to theirs at any given opportunity. She had round hips. Theirs were not so round. Her biceps had some 'extra' flesh than theirs. They had very seducing lean muscle.  Her breasts were fuller and to her, it was a 'burden'. She wanted to be as 'smart' as them when they walked. She saw their smiles and thought they were truly very happy.
It did not take long for her smiles to morph into frowns and anxiety to steal her happiness. She wanted to be perfect. But she was not perfect. They- the people she saw on social media were perfect and happy.  They had to be happy. A slim body led to happiness...
Soon, no matter what she wore, she felt miserable in it. She became a match who wasted no time in catching a flame whenever the word 'fat' or 'weight' was mentioned. Her insecurity and lack of confidence affected everything and without her knowing, she began to decay. First on the inside, then the outside...


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